Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
