its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
