Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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