there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
