i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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