Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
