I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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