I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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