Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
