I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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