I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize