I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.