So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.