I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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