just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Can i not drive my cunt home
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
this hospital has no fireball
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
