why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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