if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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