I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize