He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
