I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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