32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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