Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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