i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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