I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize