Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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