Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
did i just pee glitter
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
