I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
