Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
