I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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