Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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