no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
