I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i now understand why vodka
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
