fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize