I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
