put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
