I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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