I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
