I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
