there's paper in my vomit.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
