Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
