Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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