you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
