woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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