i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
