It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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