god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
ok first of all what the fuck
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
