um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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