i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
