i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
