Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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