question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
