Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
