i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
