yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
