smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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