Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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