Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think your dad took our porno
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
