Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I will pee on everything he values.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
