You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
