i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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