If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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