I skipped work to stalk him.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Let's paint friendship bongs
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
