she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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