Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
